The last few months have been an eye opener for me I am learning about emotional abuse and the aftermath the abuse leaves a victim in. You may wonder how I begin to study this to begin with. Well let’s just say I have never thought I would be a victim of emotional abuse but it happened. After months of getting my footing and understanding of what had happened to me I started to see the pain and hurt it caused me as well as others.
I am not going to share my story just yet but I feel compelled to share what I have learned as a result of being in such a relationship. The relationship I had was with a person my husband and I had trusted and allowed into our life for years.
I went through many ugly emotions that I never experienced and ones I never want to feel again. The emotions caused me to look at my life and reassess what was going on with me in this relationship because I knew I shouldn’t have these feelings of fear, insecurity, doubt and uncertainty. God never calls me to have a spirit of fear so I knew that what was going on wasn’t of God.
So I begin to dig and came across emotional abuse. I begin to see the what I was experiencing had a name and it happened to me. After much prayer and seeking the face of God for truth. He showed me grace and mercy by giving me answers. I begin to read and learn so much about this area of life. I begin to heal and feel better about my life. I also learned to never diminish what someone is feeling when they are hurting and in pain.
I learned that in order to grow I needed women in my life who validated who I was in Christ especially since I felt so worthless at times. I learned that my calling in life isn’t to always have an answer but that I needed to listen and pray instead of speaking.
I learned that women are created in the image of God and that He will never allow me to go through something without using it to comfort others. In hindsight I am thankful for all of it because what that person didn’t realize was I was being molded into the image of Jesus. That He was using them to purify me and my heart. What they meant for evil I know now God meant for good.
I realized that evil really truly exist in places I least expect. But I also was reminded that greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world. I learned to truly care for women in ways I never would have unless I went through what I did. I also learned to never let any person define my worth. I learned compassion on a deeper level. A level that I am thankful for because I know God wants me to have compassion for others.
I also learned that there is a whole world of godly women out there who have walked similar paths and who are brave enough to walk with someone that is new to this. Those women have been a life saver for me. They listened to me while I cried and shared my pain. They showed me what true discipleship looks like by just being there for me. They didn’t give me a time line and say to me “get over it already.” That’s also something I learned to not say to someone on the healing journey. You don’t just get over pain it takes time. Yes, the Lord can heal immediately but sometimes He doesn’t sometimes He uses His children to walk along side one another in the healing process.
So when others hurt you remember you are not alone. There are woman out there who walked down a similar path and are willing to help you walk yours. Remember that when Christ is at the center of your life He will always lead you in the right path. Yes, even on the days you don’t want to pray or read your bible He will still be there. He loves you unconditionally and wants to see you healed more than anyone in this world. He understands that your pain is at times unbearable and doesn’t hurry you to heal. Remember He is long suffering and will persevere with you everyday all day. When you are ready to read and spend time with Him He will honor that. He will give you the strength to take the next step to heal. He will be your guide each step of the way. And when you don’t even know what to pray His Spirit will intercede on your behalf. That’s the God we serve one who cares and loves. When you are hurt by others press into Jesus He is waiting.
Jesus does wonderful things in your life when you draw near to Him. No pain or hurt is to big for Him.
But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign LORD my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.